The Performance Doctor: You Are The Scapegoat

No. We are not going on an adventure making our way through downtown New York exchanging fierce tactical moves with flying bullets all around us.

This is not a lesson in tactical warfare.

It’s on consequences.

When our reality doesn’t match the image in our head, frustration builds.

We start comparing ourselves to others in our realm.

We look for explanations. We reject feedback or advice.

And when the pressure becomes too much… we find someone to blame: a scapegoat

As humans, we don’t just want things. We want what others want, and when things don’t go according, we look for someone (or something) to blame.

It’s happened to me. I am sure it’s happened to you. It’s a story, as old as humanity itself.

We mirror the desires, success, lifestyle, money, status, methods, ideas, actions, trainings, performance, outcomes or approval of others. Most of the time without realizing it.

We make choices and decisions based on these.

Then, when you or I feel lost or something goes wrong, we look for someone to carry our guilt.

When our decisions don’t pan out the way we wanted, we look for someone or something to blame.

I’ve done this.

Accepting it, was probably the hardest realization I’ve come to.

No matter how strong, disciplined, or experienced you are, your views are still limited to your own lens and experience.

We all have blind spots: areas we can’t clearly see because we are just too close to them.

As a result, when we make a decision based on emotion, we make blind decisions. These in turn may lead to negative consequences.

What I’ve learned is that we don’t look for a scapegoat because of poor performance itself. No. It usually comes from deeper patterns we are not quite aware of:

1. Not staying in the process: wanting results faster than the time originally planned and committed to.

2. Looking too much at what others do: trying to mimic their path in hopes of getting similar results as them.

3. Getting overly emotional: when life feels unstable in other areas, change becomes a way to regain control, even when it’s not needed.

4. Not communicating misalignments clearly when they’re happening: waiting too long to speak up until frustration replaces dialogue.

5. Not understanding the difference between price and value: focusing on what something costs instead of what it’s truly worth.

In business, no one enjoys reflecting over failures. It’s enjoyed even less when someone else is analyzing, dissecting and critiquing those failures.

Once you are aware of why you look for a scapegoat, it can be very tempting to take blame yourself.

Don’t do it.

There is no one to blame.

You cannot take blame for making decisions not knowing what you didn’t know you didn’t know. You made a decisions based on the available information you had.

Which is 1000x better than not making a decision at all.

You simply accept the consequences and move forward.

Time to redeem yourself.

Redemption comes at a price

If you are familiar with the John Wick series. Every decision John makes is followed by life-threatening consequences.

That’s not what happens in our business, but it can be seen like that when you are the one dealing with the consequences of losing patients, sales, conversions or even team members.

Every decision you make as a business owner has consequences.

Over the last 7 years, I’ve had plenty of failures. Heck, simply this year I have failed at least twice a week, and seven times on Mondays.

Over the years I’ve made some bad decisions both at SmartCARE Education™ and at The Athlete Spot™. I’ve lost customers, subscribers, leads and opportunities based on decisions, I thought where the right ones, at that time.

If I were to dwell on them, I’d be stuck playing in the past.

Dwelling build paralysis. It keeps us trapped between who we were and who we’re afraid to become.

This is where being in alignment with your vision and having a plan comes in play.

Redemption isn’t cheap.

It cost John Wick his finger. It could cost you thousands of dollars, or hundreds of hours. All dependent on quick you act.

When I advise students, founders, and athletes, I always explain that consequences are not redemption isn’t failure, feedback isn’t an attack and setbacks aren’t punishments.

These are consequences, and provide you with new opportunities.

It's taken me time to shape this mindset.

Over the last two months I shared with you and over 400 practitioners the foundation that helped me grow my practice from a $0/mo to $12K/mo practice in 8 months since I moved to a new city two years ago. Without spending thousands of dollars in ads, discounting my services or running monthly sales in a town with a relatively lower demographic as a solo practitioner in a 480sqft office.

Catch up on all 7 parts here:

Until next time,

In health and strength,